The Blacklist

We are currently looking for a third, fourth, fifth (there's no limit really) member of our blog.

There are a few rules, but don't worry, they're nothing you can't handle because I don't take kindly to rules and I handle them fine...

Oh wait. I helped write them! Hahahaaaa!

Anyway, here goes:

1. Thou Shalt Remain Incognito. This means that while you must tell us who you are (simply because we have to add you to the ranks), you are not to tell anyone else. Not your mother, your father, your friends, your siblings, maybe not even your dog.. But I may consider your dog as able to keep a secret, because I know how loyal they are. Nobody is to know. This means you are to come up with a unique name that is not correlated with one you're using anywhere else.
The reasons behind this are simple - you are thoroughly encouraged to say whatever you want on the blog. You'll note the subtitle is "Where Foul Language, Brutal Honesty, and Carrying Everything to the Extreme is ALL We do". This is the truth to the greatest extent. And your identity is safe with us.

2. Thou Shalt Not Be Revolting. This simply means that we will not allow (in contradiction to #1's "whatever you want") any posts with any hint of suggestion to things such as: Child Abuse, Animal Abuse, Rape, Pedophilia, or Bestiality. These are obviously disgusting. At the moment there is nothing else I can think of to add to this list - but we reserve the right to edit this list anytime we see necessary. I don't foresee much placed on this list as we value our right to freedom of speech, regardless of whom it may offend.

3. MySpace. You are not required to have a MySpace profile to go along with your blog identity, but you are not to use your current one either for purposes related to the blog. The choice is yours whether or not to make another.

That's it!



More may be added, but I doubt it. We just reserve the right to do so.


Don't respond to this blog entry, as logic would have it that doing so would blow your anonymity. Email us at

dear.blacklist.babes@gmail.com

OR - you can message me through my MySpace profile.

We look forward to hearing from you soon!

Impatiently,
Lynx

Is Tom Cruise for real? Nobody can really be this stupid can they?

This is literally painful to watch, and my pity for the embarrassment that Mr. Cruise brought upon himself is substantial - and I don't pity anyone..

Link

Watch for yourself, if you dare.

Scar

My Ass.....

To elaborate a bit, I was trying to install a new program on the computer that I require for work. Well for some reason, everytime I tried to open the program it decided that it wanted a password. HELLO, I NEVER SET IT UP WITH A PASSWORD!!!!

So anyways, I decided to call Customer Support, what a mistake! After waiting 15 minutes or so on hold, might I add here with the worst funeral march music I ever heard in my damn life, I decided to chat with my friend "Lynx". Well, her and I were chatting away, while I had the phone pressed against my ear, where's handsfree when you need it?

Let me make this clear, this music could've made the Dalai Lama want to commit suicide, it was that bad!

Anyhow, back to my point, poor Lynx had to put up with my bitching and moaning for at least 90 minutes while I sat on hold listening to this crap. This waiting did absolutely nothing to improve my nasty temperment or my ever increasing migraine.. They finally answered the damn phone after I believe 97 minutes (my phone does have a timer thingy - but not handsfree).

The conversation went something like this:

"Idiot at Tech Support" - You have no working? I fix - no worry..

Oh this is going to be fuckin great I'm thinking to myself..

Me - Why is the software asking for a password, when I never had, nor do I want it passworded?

"IATS" - you no setup that way?

Me - ummm no! I never set it up that way.

"IATS" - one minute please.

Me - oh fuck here we go again, start funeral procession music again...

- still waiting

- still waiting

"IATS" - hello, you still there?

Me - oh yeah I'm still here, I have a vested interest now.

"IATS" - you reinstall (at least that's what I thought he said"

Me - I've uninstalled and reinstalled it twice already to ensure that the setup is correct.

"IATS" - I fix no worry.

Me - well then tell me how to fix it already, I have had this phone to my ear for over an hour and a half now, and my migraine is now reaching debilitating levels. God help me, I'm going to kill someone...

Anyways, it finally got worked out I think after about 115 minutes on the phone, but my point is:

If you are hiring people to answer the phone in North America, do you not think it prudent to hire people who possibly speak some English?

How can you call it customer service/tech support etc. etc. if you make people wait that long. If you know your product is shit, at least hire enough English speaking operators to handle that "high volume of calls" that you are experiencing.

And finally, yes I would be more than happy to fill out your damn survey, so that I can tell you what a bunch of morons you are. Not that it would make a bit of difference, but I might feel just a little better.

Welcome to our new home, I'm lovingly referred to as "Red Scarlett".

"Scar" is the other part of the duo that started this blog, and my reasons are quite similar to those of "Lynx". The only difference being that I want to help her to become "Ruler of the World". Why wouldn't I want to be ruler myself you may be thinking? Well first and foremost, I'm too lazy to really work that hard, secondly, Lynx knows where to send the royalty checks.

Since we appear to be quoting songs in our intros, here's the skinny:

---

Folks
I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Or maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon
We don't know

I'm just a regular joe
With a regular job
I'm your average white
Suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house
With a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job
My kids, and my car
My feet on my table
And a Cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
Oh no, no way, uh uhh
No, I gotta go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow
In the ultra-fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets
And I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's a real f**king asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...NAAAHHHHH!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
Hot pink!
With whale skin hub caps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
At 115 miles per hour
Getting one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
Two words:Nuclear F**kin' Weapons
Okay!?
Russia, Germany, Romania
They can have all the Democracy they want
They can have a big Democracy cake walk
Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
And it won't make a lick of difference
Because we got the bombs
Okay!?
John Wayne's not dead
He's frozen!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer

We're gonna thaw out "TheDuke"
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well, multiply that by 15 million times
That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
I'm gonna get "The Duke"
And John Cassavetes
And Lee Marvin
And Sam Peckinpah
And a case of whiskey
And drive down to TexasAnd-
(Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
And it turns out it was him
What an asshole!

I'm an asshole
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole
(he's the worlds biggest asshole)

A - SS - HO - LE!
Everybody!!
A - SS - HO - LE!

I'm an asshole and proud of it!
Song by my hero – Dennis Leary

---

Change a few he's to she and this is me, the only other change I might add would be to the title – in order to fully epitomize my personality it should be called "I'm a redneck asshole".

Lynx and I have a lot in common, except for the girly shit, that is all her. I like trucks, bush bars, guns, sports cars and being outside. I love camping, fishing, boating, and drinking with my boys.

I have a 4x4 truck with a bush bar, and I love mud bogging. I've also been told "I clean up real nice".

Since we covered what I like already, here's what I hate (condensed version):

People

Stupidity

4 Door Cars

Romantic Comedies

Romance Novel

Fabio

Phones

Asshole Drivers

Old Drivers

Toll Booths

Red Lights

Liars

Soap Operas

And mostly People.

Anyways, this shit is cutting into my nap time, welcome & I'm sure we'll see ya all soon.